Monday, February 25, 2013


I was approached by Triple J Unearthed indie lord Tom Lark who describes himself as, "an artist from New Zealand making indie pop tunes." That he is.

As soon as I clicked on the YouTube link to his vid for the song, 'Hipsteranity', I was delightfully surprised at the psychedelic feel of the track. Lark looks like a cross between gnarly 90s dudes Blur and James Spader circa 1984. In other words, he pulls of a black turtle neck like nobody's business.

The screeching guitar and stoic vocals collide into a catchy tune, and coupled with the creepy, gory and sinister video-this track is bound to be a hit. I will predict now that you may even find it remixed in your local Sydney indie bar in no time!

Take a peek at the clip here (& revel in the protagonist's bushy beard and pearly specs):
WARNING: May make you feel like a Jam sandwich.

Triple J Unearthed website: TOM LARK



We all know Disclosure has been kicking goals lately, what with the beats on their latest track 'White Noise' that samples that drum and bass that I love so fucking much!

AlunaGeorge's squeaky warbling makes for the tune to punch through the indie house barrier like an acidic star that decided to fuck off from the other stars and screech through the solar system!

No one can deny it, don't even try to deny it- YOU LOVE THIS CHOOON!
Disclosure, you are killing it, just thought you should know and that.
I am listening to it as I type and I wanna shimmy right on out the door to make myself a little victory sandwich in celebration of this sexy little ditty.

Oh yeah, they made a video for it too. A day in the dreary life of a security guard. The stark juxtaposition of the song with the video makes for interesting viewing.

Before you know, the decrepit fourth wall is broken as our protagonist busts out some moves that would make Reverend Run blush.

Have a squiz here:

All i know is that it makes me want to walk the dim lit streets of East London so fucking bad while viewing this. I hope it has the same effect on you.

Friday, February 22, 2013


Generally, the majority of the wonderful people who read this are inherently cool. & if you are one of those people you will probably click out of this page right now because you don't give a fuck what is cool or not, right?


Everyone wants to look cool. Don't act like you don't. Even if it is not what the majority thinks is cool right now (bindis, deep house, goon sacks and internet language/memes), you will still find yourself adhering to a certain group in which you deem RAD.

Now, I am not ragging on you for doing such. I don't really give a shit. See what I did there?

Anyway, here is a misguided, hopeless and most probably pretentious guide on how to be cool (or just a decent human):

1. Don't have an Internet personality and a 'real life' personality.
If anyone has met me, they will know that the way I typety type type on this thing is the exact same way I talk in real life. In other words, like a drunken truck driver with too many opinions. Don't be a keyboard warrior saying obnoxious and often offensive things through the net and then not having the cajones to back it up when you are strolling down the street. It makes you look like a bigger pussy than Garfield.

2. Don't be a pretentious fuckwit.
Don't speak with an accent. It's so weird. Be a humble fuck, that is the kind people remember and want to hang out with. People who talk solely about their own escapades make me bored out of my brain. We are living in a narcissistic world that only seems to become more and more fickle by the day. Enjoy your life, don't make it everyone else's business to enjoy it for you. I for one don't look at a chick with a coffee cup and a cigarette as the be all and end all of style. Fuck, shes just having a dart and mediocre latte, let her get on with her day. Don't tweet about how cool she looks chaining a sigourney weaver, shes just stanging for a durb- let her smoke in peace.

3. Don't live your life by the pages of a magazine.
You'll spend all your money at Marnie Skillings and then by the next season you'll be sitting naked on your bed crying into the fabric wondering why you don't have any money for enchiladas that week. Magazines are fickle bastards, they will coax you into consuming anything you can and then by the next month you won't have anything to Instagram as you have taken to stripping to afford the lavish lifestyle you think that you have, when really you are getting your norks out for faschion. Alex Perry would never approve of that shit.

4. Don't be a social climber.
I always say that if someone has their head too far up their own ass, by the time they pry it from the darkest reaches of their rectum, none of their true friends will be around to see it. No one likes a drifter. Stick to who your true friends are, regardless of how cool you deem a bunch of people to be at the time. It's obvious to everyone what you are doing and no one likes to see someone else desperately clutching at the bottom of the social beanstalk.

5. DO be a friendly fucker.
Something my friends and I have noticed lately (and I cant decide whether or not this is sad) is that we are so appreciative of people who are friendly, warm and welcoming. I went to a party not long ago in the city in which every single person there was keen to get to know someone new. As an attendee who did not know a lot of the people there, it was noted how friendly people make for a great, memorable time. No one likes the dude in the akubra who just can not seem to find his papers, let alone someone he deems "interesting" to talk to.

6. Make a dick of yourself.
Yeah I went to a bush doof and yeah Bellato took his shirt off and danced with some menacing looking trees but who gives a fuck. It was hilarious and cemented memories for years to come. I always enjoy the person who is willing to make a fool of themselves and remove that constant nagging of correcting your behaviour in order to appear 'cool'. I think the coolest people are the ones who don't take themselves so seriously and have the ability to look like the biggest dick in a sea of muted mahns.

7. Keith Richards.
My motto is 'If Keith Richards is still alive, then why not?'. Live your life like Keith. Throw nervous energy and negativity to the wind. No one is better than anyone else. Fuck, I mean Keith even snorted his dad's ashes- he REALLY doesn't give a fuck. Do things that make your own life better (or worse) on your own terms, don't make it everyone else's problem. I don't really condone living your life like Keith Richards because then imagine the retiring homes when we are 80. Everyone will be snorting their roommates ashes, drinking whiskey and chain smoking flavoured cigarettes.....

Sounds like a party to me!