Sunday, August 28, 2011

GEN Y?

for fucks sake.
Am i as tired of this generation tag as the rest of you?
and its me!
I am GEN Y and i fucking hate it!

I have decoded some of the many myths I know of about an entire generation and would like to share them with you.

* WOMEN:
- Must be thin, fashion forward, take care of themselves but not wear too much make up (so as not to look like a drag queen (?) or to be misconstrued as "hiding something"), be a slut in the bedroom and a powerhouse in the office. Must speak up for what they believe in, but not too loudly.
- Gen Y women engage in binge drinking nights out but will be reprimanded for their numerous FaceBook photos documenting such events.
- They can dress in whatever way they want- but must expect to be jeered at and ridiculed by other women and men.
- Women are still deemed sluts if they sleep around "too much".
- Women must have a thick skin about every issue, otherwise they will be seen as vulnerable, emotional, overreacting, psycho, opinionated and/or annoying.
- Women are still objects, e.g: "GRENADE" (side note: that term pisses me off no end, they are the fucking grenades for thinking that way! fucking jersey shore twats.)
- Women are in direct competition with other women.
- They must not be fat nor tell people they are fat as "confidence" is apparently what is the most attractive quality (not to the hoodlums yelling shit out of a car at 4am), although if they are fat then they should be ashamed of themselves for letting themselves get that out of hand and reprimand themselves with bingeing and purging, Kardashian endorsed Quiktrim or every other eating disorder designed for some fit ass abs and toned arms.
- Women must accept that the fashion magazines promote such "fitness" as healthy and "encourage" women to "take control of their lives" while exhibiting a giraffe in Josh Goot on the following page.
- The weight/look of every woman should be monitored like the kilometre intake on some yokel's ute and judged as bigger or smaller to anyone who will listen.
- A woman should always know that a "poke" is annoying, but a "like" means something special. (get farked)
- If a woman is yelled at about how she looks or acts, or accosted/harrassed in the street about such matters she must keep walking with her head down as not to rile up the grease monkey hurling insults at her. (side note: reason for such fucking shithouse tools doing this: their mummy never loved them and they have a tiny tiny tiny penis. THAT, or their ex girlfriend looked like you and she fucked his dad instead.)

* MEN:
- Must own some sort of photography device.
- Still get shit for wearing tight jeans (really? has anyone googled 1987 and seen the shit jimmy barnes was wearing? I wouldnt be calling him a sister jean wearing fag if i were you or you'd cop a bottle of JD to your manicured beard ala Craig David quick smart!)
- Cop the same shit girls get for wearing/doing what they want.
- Feel the need to pick on smaller people to exhibit status. Speaking of status, this is usually done online so others can read about how shit people are without a direct confrontation ever happening.
- Gen Y could be deemed the generation of the keyboard hard cunt.
- Men must out do each other while drinking, whether it be the person to get the shovel in a fight or the person to drink the most and end up with their fist up their own ass.
- Men are confused as to whether or not they should act chivalrous towards women or treat them like shit, as us women have become masochists looking for a good old whipping in our own martyrdom. What this has done is created a generation of assholes thinking that by being a grade A dickhead will in fact score them the girl. As us girls have adopted the " nice guys finish last" scheme in our own heads. We did this ladies, admit it to yourself.
- Men are fashion forward to the point that they are overtaking the girls.
- Men tiptoe around being sexist toward women, when we as women have become sexist toward them (e.g. those stupid tampon ads with the dickhead boyfriend using Libra wings as a superhero costume. They aren't that dumb and we are beginning to look bitter.)


*EVERYONE:

- We are expected not to smoke as we know all the facts now. (pfft)
- We are under stronger laws and less outright corruption which makes it harder to do fun stuff (haha)
- We are expected to have careers but are reprimanded by our older counterparts for taking our sweet bloody time moving out of home and becoming financially independent. Its not like the old days when making slander filled comments on Current Affairs news programs could earn you a crust.....oh wait, nothings changed.
- University is still not noticed as doing something. I hope the older generations realise that if we keep getting shit for "living the student lifestyle" (which I have to add isnt that great. You think living off 20 bucks a week and eating mi goreng and drinking out of shared buckets filled with goon is fun then I have news for you- its actually pretty fun) and not putting our part into society makes them somelike GEN Y itself. In what way you may ask?
They are never satisfied and always looking for a quick fix. AHA! GOTCHA YOU OLD FUCKIN BASTARDS!
- with no young folk going to uni to study medicine and shit itll become like the fucking 18th century again with colic and black plague wiping all you mouthy judgemental middle agers out faster than you can say "young talent time".
- Social media and networking is destroying lives. Trust me I would know.
- We thrive on "what ifs" and theories rather than facts. No. 2012 will not be the end of the world. No, Illuminati does not exist, if it did, you would not know about it.


- We think we know everything (see above).

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