Wednesday, January 12, 2011

IF THIS IS A ROM COM, KILL THE DIRECTOR.




Its the age old recipe for the romantic comedy in the spotlight.

I watched 'Morning Glory' yesterday with Moss at the movies, and besides the hilarious double entendre of the title, it was a sap filled mind fuck that followed the timeless and always predictable storyline of a romantic comedy.

Ill lay it out for you:

Main Character: A woman who has just recieved a job in the big city (almost ALWAYS NYC). She is career driven and busy, doesnt take time to smell the roses and is usually quite cynical about men.

Romantic Lead: A buff dude who takes an interest in the main because of her closed off attitude and usually rude demeanour. He finds it a challenge and endearing (for some reason).

Problem: The main must decide whether or not to choose work/a stuffy family/her own personal plotting over the romantic lead. This is usually backed up with a series of montage's to Lily Allen songs.

Point of the R.L.: To challenge the main's goals and values with his penis. Oh and also to make all the Bridget Jones' in the audience swoon and crave the same penile justice. Oh and to make a speech at around the 1 hour 25 minute mark.

Point of the M.C.: To reiterate that you dont need ambition or goals to succeed as a woman, all you need is a man. Or all you need is to let go of everything you have worked for in the big city and take some time off to realise that the love of your life is standing in front of you in a rain stained white t shirt and bootcut ripped jeans. Just being a man who is asking a woman to love him.

Point of the movie: To disappoint women, and to set ridiculous standards for men.

While I understand that these movies are not to be taken seriously. I must point out the effects it has on the general population who witness them!
Or better yet, the people I know who witness them

I know that I have heard multiple times from girls I know say (while the movie is running amongst grunts and 'shhhh!'s from the other patrons)

"THIS IS NOT REAL! THIS WOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! NO GUY WOULD EVER DO THAT FOR ME!"

Which I suppose is a pretty accurate statement.
I mean if they ever made a romantic comedy about a guy who fucked you and then never called you again, it wouldnt be that romantic would it?

It would be highly entertaining though, and maybe be a tad more comforting to the general female population.
At least then we would know that we arent alone!

I would LOVE to see a rom com about a girl in the big city (perth or something) making it in the world of AAMI who get romanced by a young stud in the building across the street, then when she finally does give it up to some form of Death Cab for Cutie song, he bails and doesnt return any of her calls.

To which she actually has to deal with the reality of what happens in everyday life.

I for one, understand the rom com, but I can not say I completely appreciate them.

And I bet I know why guys hate to go see 'CHICK FLICKS'. Because more often than not, by the time the couple have exited their local Hoyts there would be some form of argument about why they do not do anything like Matthew Mcconaughey.

Thats because your man is not Matthew 'fucked in the head' Mcconaughey.
He probably does not have a texan accent and rippling abs.
He probably doesnt play the bongos naked in his spare time (although kudos if he does!)
He is real and only human, and should not be upheld to some screenwriter's wet dream.

That being said,
I did cry for a full hour and 45 minutes last night while watching 'The Notebook'.
I guess you can talk the talk, but in the end....we are all such girls.


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