Sunday, December 19, 2010

THINGS I HAVE LEARNT PART THREE.


1. When it is sunny on a sunday, I feel like a beer.
2. When you see someone (or a drunk couple- as i did on friday night) fall over head first into the pavement, your first reaction will be shock then hilarity.
3. Just because people stop being around, doesnt mean they are gone.
4. Sometimes it's easier if they were gone.
5. The easy way out will always bring you around in a full circle back to the problem.
5. Twittering celebrities is the least satisfying thing you can do besides eating a nectarine in winter.
6. Global warming is fucking up my afternoon BBQ plans.
7. Mad mex at Tuggerah is a revelation.
8. Being an Icon is your own decision.
9. The F3 is a great place to spew.
10. Dont heckle drunk old bastards on the train or you could find your ass sitting on the Wondabyne platform at some ungodly hour in the morning.
11. Reality TV is mesmerising, but in a completely disturbing way.
12. Models are glorified clothes horses, who could possibly have the most overrated career in the world, besides actors. I am baffled at their contribution to the world, but I do understand their purpose. (part one)
13. When models gain a voice and spout their own opinion, it is a bit like watching a baby discover play doh for the first time. Cute but messy.(part two)
14. I like easter better than Christmas.
15. Woodford healed the soul by taking away sleep,food and most of all.....technology.
16. What is considered cool, is no longer cool. And the word cool, is no longer cool. This blog was cool, but is no longer cool. The weather was cool, but is no longer cool.
17. Bret Easton Ellis.
17.5. You know when you never hear from someone anymore that they do not want to be heard from.
18. I have noticed that the advances in technology has really made a difference. that difference being, people will talk to other people via something battery powered while you are standing in the flesh in their presence. They will laugh at their phones, they will get angry at their phones, they will seek revenge and love through social networks....and probably one day will have nothing left in their presence but a phone bill.
19. Making up dance moves while drunk is a fantastic idea.
20. Saving money is hard.
21. Spending money is easy.
22. Old people are cuter than babies. Except when they get grumpy and have a go at the young louts in their neighbourhood.
23. Sesame street (as you get older) tends to appear as some psychedelic crack addicts worst nightmare, what with the dude who froths on triangles and an obviously stoned out of his nut elmo who is constantly giggling and making wacky observations. Dont even get me started on the continual munchies the cookie monster has. Big bird is always dozing and oscar the grouch hangs out in a bin coming down off pingaz 24/7. Maybe they should change Darlinghurst Road to Sesame Street.
24. People without I Phones have severe problems with people who do have I Phones. It is like the locker room dick comparison, but outside and at social occassions.
25. I have learnt that it is the end of 2010, even though my head is stuck back in May because im pretty sure this year was the equivalent to Cathy Freeman circa 2000.

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