Wednesday, December 29, 2010

EVERYONE IS FUCKED UP.















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I really do hope that i have so much fun as i have this year of 2010. I moved back to the CC and cant say i have regretted one second of it. I know, it has the rep of being a nowhere town but it has opened more doors than I have ever come across since Ive left high school. It wouldnt have been the same without the people that are here....making sundays into saturdays and taking advantage of everything that is worth taking advantage of.














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ha!














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I dont think that there is a spoken contract between my friends and I. I think we just know.














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Nooo....what makes you a racist is being a racist.














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This rings true for many women I know including myself at one stage in time this year. However, things change which I acknowledge. But this is a true and clarifying insight into a woman's psyche.












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This is the siren song of the mermaids of 2010. All beautiful, smart and interesting girls congregating around one ideal and hoping to god that it will one day be filled. FUCK YOU to everything that creates low self esteem or self doubt, you arent worth the glossy papers you are printed on.














comments:

I see this all the time.

comments: I didnt really identify with this secret as I am too old to give a fuck about prom and also I am not american and have never experienced a 'prom', i just thought it was funny and what I would imagine to be kinda true.



These graphics are from the blog Postsecret, www.postsecret.com



THANKS FOR A 2010 THAT WILL ALWAYS REMAIN 2010.
IT WAS THRILLING
BORING
STUNNING
LOVELY
EXTREME
LAZY
FULFILLING
DISAPPOINTING
BEAUTIFUL
UGLY
TIRING
EXHILIRATING.


HAPPY 2011.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

BOXING DAY SALES.

What is the point of lining up at 6:45am in the morning to get your greasy mits from the night before's ham spread on more material posessions, when you just had the most spoiled day of the year 24 hours previous?

is it a mass amount of greed succumbing to the pressures of the "look" that "should" be achieved that is publicised so freely in society today?

Carparks get filled to the brim, people hurry around like busy little bees with their credit cards three feet in front of them ready to swipe and hopefully score a "bargain".

It is materialism gone mad, and I am not saying I am any better. I will go have a look around the shops and spend my hard earned xmas money on stupid gifts for myself, as if i havent already received so much.

Its just this hysteria on boxing day morning that has gotten me interested in the time honoured tradition of going ape shit at the signs of "30% off".

Madeline Anderson who works at General Pants and co in Pitt St was just on the phone to me telling me about the madness that is being whipped around the already busy shopping mecca.

She told me about the crowds, the lines that started just after dawn. Almost like the consumers were accepting their fate with a money bag over their head, telling their loved ones their last thoughts as they resigned themselves over to the execution of savings and deals that massive corporations have provided for them on this day. Much like a bullet to the head, the day will surely leave them with their hands full and their hearts empty.

It is an event that the news covers every year just like schoolies. A raw time to see the baser human instincts in true form. Greed, glutton and lust combined into an intoxicating cocktail to dull the senses and become one with materialism.

I cant talk, although i do acknowledge

that we are living in a material world, and i am a material girl.


Friday, December 24, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

THINGS I HAVE LEARNT PART THREE.


1. When it is sunny on a sunday, I feel like a beer.
2. When you see someone (or a drunk couple- as i did on friday night) fall over head first into the pavement, your first reaction will be shock then hilarity.
3. Just because people stop being around, doesnt mean they are gone.
4. Sometimes it's easier if they were gone.
5. The easy way out will always bring you around in a full circle back to the problem.
5. Twittering celebrities is the least satisfying thing you can do besides eating a nectarine in winter.
6. Global warming is fucking up my afternoon BBQ plans.
7. Mad mex at Tuggerah is a revelation.
8. Being an Icon is your own decision.
9. The F3 is a great place to spew.
10. Dont heckle drunk old bastards on the train or you could find your ass sitting on the Wondabyne platform at some ungodly hour in the morning.
11. Reality TV is mesmerising, but in a completely disturbing way.
12. Models are glorified clothes horses, who could possibly have the most overrated career in the world, besides actors. I am baffled at their contribution to the world, but I do understand their purpose. (part one)
13. When models gain a voice and spout their own opinion, it is a bit like watching a baby discover play doh for the first time. Cute but messy.(part two)
14. I like easter better than Christmas.
15. Woodford healed the soul by taking away sleep,food and most of all.....technology.
16. What is considered cool, is no longer cool. And the word cool, is no longer cool. This blog was cool, but is no longer cool. The weather was cool, but is no longer cool.
17. Bret Easton Ellis.
17.5. You know when you never hear from someone anymore that they do not want to be heard from.
18. I have noticed that the advances in technology has really made a difference. that difference being, people will talk to other people via something battery powered while you are standing in the flesh in their presence. They will laugh at their phones, they will get angry at their phones, they will seek revenge and love through social networks....and probably one day will have nothing left in their presence but a phone bill.
19. Making up dance moves while drunk is a fantastic idea.
20. Saving money is hard.
21. Spending money is easy.
22. Old people are cuter than babies. Except when they get grumpy and have a go at the young louts in their neighbourhood.
23. Sesame street (as you get older) tends to appear as some psychedelic crack addicts worst nightmare, what with the dude who froths on triangles and an obviously stoned out of his nut elmo who is constantly giggling and making wacky observations. Dont even get me started on the continual munchies the cookie monster has. Big bird is always dozing and oscar the grouch hangs out in a bin coming down off pingaz 24/7. Maybe they should change Darlinghurst Road to Sesame Street.
24. People without I Phones have severe problems with people who do have I Phones. It is like the locker room dick comparison, but outside and at social occassions.
25. I have learnt that it is the end of 2010, even though my head is stuck back in May because im pretty sure this year was the equivalent to Cathy Freeman circa 2000.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

THE QUINTESSENTIAL GENTLEMAN.



The following is a subjective take on what I define as the quintessential gentleman, of our age anyway.



A gentleman can be defined by the following points:

* A man who is not shy about wearing a suit, for any occassion, at any time of the day.

* A man who has that far away look in his eyes.

* A man who takes a woman by the waist.

* A man who has no qualms about indulging in a dance with a woman.

* A man who will wear a biege blazer.

* A man who will offer his right arm to a woman, with which she will slip her left arm through to walk along some form of promenade.

* A man who has his own opinions yet does not ram those opinions down one's throat.

* A man who will not accept the closest or easiest option, but instead relishes a challenge.

* A man who will not speak ill of his acquaintances.

* A man who will not allow his moods or surroundings to change his personality while surrounded by others.

* A man who will wear sunglasses when it is glary outside. only outside.

* A man who will stand up for his woman and what he knows is right, disregarding consequences.

* A man who will wear a bow tie, and when taunted by men who do not fit into this category, will accept the taunts with a sense of humour and the confidence to know who he is.

* A man who will order you a drink before you have asked.

* A man who will take pride in his appearance, whether that be a taupe summer slack or a crisp collared shirt.

* A man who does his best not to appear non chalant or cause disappointment.

* A man who feels no need to brag about his conquests.

* A man who expresses the beauty of the opposite sex frequently yet with subtlety.

* A man who does not see class, race or privelidge.

* A man who when he walks has a swagger that is all his own.

* A man who is considerate, humble and kind.

* A man who has an urge to travel and interest in other cultures.

* A man who secretes testosterone, but not in the way that you might assume (or in the way that we have come to accept). A gentleman's testosterone must be felt by the other person in his presence very discreetly and without obvious action.


* A man who does not accept defeat or allow weakness to be confused with vulnerability.


The gentleman is an elusive yet extremely valuable type of character that is rare and fleeting, and I thought I might show my appreciation for the few men in my life that I do know possess most (if not all) of these qualities.

I lift my brandy glass and tip my hat to you.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

SO & SO'S.





WHY OH WHY must Australian society celebrate ocker fucking disgusting sportsmen with a quarter of a brain and an even smaller moral compass.

These bastards are actually getting their own TV chat shows where they can "uhhh and ummm" and make fun of "poofters" and "sissies" every Thursday night at 7:30!

It is no secret that I actually despise NRL. I openly talk about it, I have met and forgotten numerous amounts of FOOTY players with hands that are bigger than their own vocabulary.

It just makes me sick that dickheads like the ones above (names will remain out of it) can just cheat on their wives and engage in a full on testosterone fuelled gang bang with some slurry. And im sure you could imagine them passing a ball around and "chuckin dummies"as one of the guys pumped her.

And as for the one who has the wrist who can flick not only a red ball, but im sure his own tackle whilst SMSing that crazy bitch who got 55 stars tattooed on her face and tried to sue the tattooist. (hypothetically- but im sure the ladies he was sending dirty texts to werent that far off the aforementioned sheila).

It makes me physically sick and outrageously incensed when I see stupid fucking advertisements for their brain numbing shows all complete with some dumb ass competition with some toothless bogan hand picked from the audience who might win a bloody BBQ and how they themselves probably got fucked up the ass backstage and repayed to keep their whistly mouths shut over the incident.

SOME sportsmen, i believe, feel invincible to the wrath of the Australian public. And for good reason. We just seem to forgive and forget so easily, especially where footy and cricket players come into play.

A scandal is only a scandal for 24 hours if you know how to kick a field goal or hit a ball with a plank of wood.

Go on, rape chicks, steal their confidence, spit at them, bottle them, hit them, cheat on them, slander their names, gang bang em, have underage sex with them, corner them in a spa at a hotel, throw beers on them.....and Im just describing a "mad monday".

I have not felt this much rage at the BLOKES who populate and turn what was once regarded as purely team sports based with a friendly and bonding attitude into some dirty orgy where you can win a match then have your free VBs and women who will open their legs and will shut their mouths. (Until Woman's Day gives them a call)

I dont know why we forgive these fuckwits and give them even more than they will ever deserve. It slanders the name of football and sends out such a distorted message to the youngings who are playing for their locals with the hopes of one day being the one in the middle of that stadium.

I bet even that red haired fuck who took a photo of a DOG giving him a HEAD JOB will one day host a radio show on 2Day FM, just like that fat fuck Sandilands.

Why not hey? Im sure he musnt be able to buy any more ice or any more beer with NOBLY standing down from the raiders.

But I suppose I should thank these sick fucks and the morally bankrupt horses they rode in on. Because now I know I have a point when I am sitting around the football obsessed table at Christmas this year.

I just think that our society's view of things is FUCKED at the moment. I bet Monica Lewinsky is kicking herself for not learning the rules of NRL before she smoked that very famous cigar, because she would be way more famous by now and not working on a farm somewhere.

Just like that FUCKING BEN COUSINS DOCO.

OH MY GOD.

way to make my blood boil. So you are a junkie motherfucker who I probably see at festivals with your shirt off frothing at the mouth. fuck you.

Dont shove your greedy selfish fucked up life in our faces as we are eating our chicken tonights. I dont give a fuck if you played AFL. I dont give a fuck if you took heaps of drugs. I dont give a fuck if you got caught. Which is the only reason why that doco came out.

All of you animals are making a bad name for what our society accepts, how sports are regarded and how the future will define what is morally acceptable.

And I bet fucking a 16 year old as a 24 year old man doesnt count.

UP THE SHARKIES!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

YOU FUCKIN CHEESEBURGER.


you're a bloody cheeseburger.
Want to know why?
Because I bet you havent opened up yours buns and had a look at this:
(from the virtual pen of Eden Hannon and Samuel Paterson)
You havent have you?
You've been spending your time deciding on whether or not to slap on some tomato or BBQ sauce on your meat instead havent you?
Well stop being such a delicious treat usually consumed on Sundays and go look at the fucking blog.
If you dont, I will eat you.
(p.s. if you have visited the aformentioned site, then you are more of a Pad Thai with a wedge of lemon and I love you.)

TERRYTOWN CONTINUED...












































































I have to admit that I am absolutely frothing on this photographer at the moment


Just like I was Joseph Szabo around 4 years ago,

This photographer has sparked such an interest and wonderment at his work that I have found myself spending hours searching for more candid, lucid and outrageous images (which I am happy to say I have found; see above).
There are dicks tits ass legs lips eyes nose face fingers thumbs shoulders knees located in nearly all of his photographs, and even something such as a thumb can be turned into the most provocative gesture you have ever seen.
I admire people like this who push the boundaries regardless of the consequences, or the "reputation" that they might tear down with leaping outside of the 'norm'.
Richardson has come under allegations that he is forceful with his subjects, forcing them to participate in poses or acts of a sexual nature that they did not feel comfortable with.
However, these complaints have been denied by a network of people from the fashion and photographic industries such as Abbey Lee Kershaw and Kate Moss who have defended Richardson and his work,
to paraphrase;
The models on Terry's side explained that at any point a model has the option not to participate and say no, it is never a forceful gesture from the photographer.
Which brings me to my point.
When someone is noted for freely using and abusing the way we view basic human traits (in this case: sexuality, decadence, sensuality, violence, satire) to express irony, or whatever their aim may be...it will usually bring splashback with it.
For instance, the most famous and recent little trouble bubble that Richardson has gotten tangled up in is the photoshoot of the Glee cast for GQ magazine.
IT IS FOR GQ.
I dont know why the parental board of shit had a fucking say in what GQ had to print.
The freedom of expression will always have its oppressors, but come on... parental boards?
It is too much of a cliche to be believable.
The ironic thing out of all that kerfuffel is that even though their children would not get away with purchasing a copy of GQ in a newsagency, but they would be privy to a bit of pay TV AKA every single entertainment news show that broadcast the scandalous photographs in HD which im sure the kiddies were wide eyed to, while their stuffy high collared parents with their "christian values" were tele-conferencing the neighbours over their husband's GQ subscription.
All im saying is freedom of expression is vital and what makes the world colourful.
I understand the legalities of freedom of expression, as in sexual or lewd acts with minors, animals etc to be wrong and harmful.
And by no means do I condone anything against the law to do with F.O.E.
(excluding drug use)
But anything above the line of the law that celebrates the inner atoms of a so called perverts brain, I am all for.
Besides, Ive seen bigger perverts standing outside the gates of the beery checking your CHILDREN'S I.D's.
Someone call her parents!