Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The following is a subjective take on what I define as the quintessential gentleman, of our age anyway.
A gentleman can be defined by the following points:
* A man who is not shy about wearing a suit, for any occassion, at any time of the day.
* A man who has that far away look in his eyes.
* A man who takes a woman by the waist.
* A man who has no qualms about indulging in a dance with a woman.
* A man who will wear a biege blazer.
* A man who will offer his right arm to a woman, with which she will slip her left arm through to walk along some form of promenade.
* A man who has his own opinions yet does not ram those opinions down one's throat.
* A man who will not accept the closest or easiest option, but instead relishes a challenge.
* A man who will not speak ill of his acquaintances.
* A man who will not allow his moods or surroundings to change his personality while surrounded by others.
* A man who will wear sunglasses when it is glary outside. only outside.
* A man who will stand up for his woman and what he knows is right, disregarding consequences.
* A man who will wear a bow tie, and when taunted by men who do not fit into this category, will accept the taunts with a sense of humour and the confidence to know who he is.
* A man who will order you a drink before you have asked.
* A man who will take pride in his appearance, whether that be a taupe summer slack or a crisp collared shirt.
* A man who does his best not to appear non chalant or cause disappointment.
* A man who feels no need to brag about his conquests.
* A man who expresses the beauty of the opposite sex frequently yet with subtlety.
* A man who does not see class, race or privelidge.
* A man who when he walks has a swagger that is all his own.
* A man who is considerate, humble and kind.
* A man who has an urge to travel and interest in other cultures.
* A man who secretes testosterone, but not in the way that you might assume (or in the way that we have come to accept). A gentleman's testosterone must be felt by the other person in his presence very discreetly and without obvious action.
* A man who does not accept defeat or allow weakness to be confused with vulnerability.
The gentleman is an elusive yet extremely valuable type of character that is rare and fleeting, and I thought I might show my appreciation for the few men in my life that I do know possess most (if not all) of these qualities.
I lift my brandy glass and tip my hat to you.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
WHY OH WHY must Australian society celebrate ocker fucking disgusting sportsmen with a quarter of a brain and an even smaller moral compass.
These bastards are actually getting their own TV chat shows where they can "uhhh and ummm" and make fun of "poofters" and "sissies" every Thursday night at 7:30!
It is no secret that I actually despise NRL. I openly talk about it, I have met and forgotten numerous amounts of FOOTY players with hands that are bigger than their own vocabulary.
It just makes me sick that dickheads like the ones above (names will remain out of it) can just cheat on their wives and engage in a full on testosterone fuelled gang bang with some slurry. And im sure you could imagine them passing a ball around and "chuckin dummies"as one of the guys pumped her.
And as for the one who has the wrist who can flick not only a red ball, but im sure his own tackle whilst SMSing that crazy bitch who got 55 stars tattooed on her face and tried to sue the tattooist. (hypothetically- but im sure the ladies he was sending dirty texts to werent that far off the aforementioned sheila).
It makes me physically sick and outrageously incensed when I see stupid fucking advertisements for their brain numbing shows all complete with some dumb ass competition with some toothless bogan hand picked from the audience who might win a bloody BBQ and how they themselves probably got fucked up the ass backstage and repayed to keep their whistly mouths shut over the incident.
SOME sportsmen, i believe, feel invincible to the wrath of the Australian public. And for good reason. We just seem to forgive and forget so easily, especially where footy and cricket players come into play.
A scandal is only a scandal for 24 hours if you know how to kick a field goal or hit a ball with a plank of wood.
Go on, rape chicks, steal their confidence, spit at them, bottle them, hit them, cheat on them, slander their names, gang bang em, have underage sex with them, corner them in a spa at a hotel, throw beers on them.....and Im just describing a "mad monday".
I have not felt this much rage at the BLOKES who populate and turn what was once regarded as purely team sports based with a friendly and bonding attitude into some dirty orgy where you can win a match then have your free VBs and women who will open their legs and will shut their mouths. (Until Woman's Day gives them a call)
I dont know why we forgive these fuckwits and give them even more than they will ever deserve. It slanders the name of football and sends out such a distorted message to the youngings who are playing for their locals with the hopes of one day being the one in the middle of that stadium.
I bet even that red haired fuck who took a photo of a DOG giving him a HEAD JOB will one day host a radio show on 2Day FM, just like that fat fuck Sandilands.
Why not hey? Im sure he musnt be able to buy any more ice or any more beer with NOBLY standing down from the raiders.
But I suppose I should thank these sick fucks and the morally bankrupt horses they rode in on. Because now I know I have a point when I am sitting around the football obsessed table at Christmas this year.
I just think that our society's view of things is FUCKED at the moment. I bet Monica Lewinsky is kicking herself for not learning the rules of NRL before she smoked that very famous cigar, because she would be way more famous by now and not working on a farm somewhere.
Just like that FUCKING BEN COUSINS DOCO.
OH MY GOD.
way to make my blood boil. So you are a junkie motherfucker who I probably see at festivals with your shirt off frothing at the mouth. fuck you.
Dont shove your greedy selfish fucked up life in our faces as we are eating our chicken tonights. I dont give a fuck if you played AFL. I dont give a fuck if you took heaps of drugs. I dont give a fuck if you got caught. Which is the only reason why that doco came out.
All of you animals are making a bad name for what our society accepts, how sports are regarded and how the future will define what is morally acceptable.
And I bet fucking a 16 year old as a 24 year old man doesnt count.
UP THE SHARKIES!