WISDOM.

These are things I have learnt (or noticed) recently, and things I have not learnt.



LEARNED:



1. making out is the best exercise.



2. you can be whipped and not even know it, but may have to admit it much like an alcoholic has to admit they have a problem before they can even begin to recover.



3. drinking three nights over a weekend makes me feel like im not eighteen again.



4. a lot of people I know have BEAUTIFUL eyes.



5. Im still not sure if some people really mean what they say, but I have learned it is easier to agree to shut everyone up.



6. I can bake a mean cake.



7. psychics cant predict the future, they can only take a shot at your past...and not even YOU want to dredge up that!



8. regrets really are futile. fuck them.



9. finding a park in Terrigal this coming summer will be like trying to get Mary Mackillop to give you a gobbie. Stupid, pointless and yet angelic in some weird way.



10.The beery is no longer "the beery"...its merely somewhere to get a pineapple vodka in peace.



11. house parties are the new black.

12. 11:11 is a real thing.

13. everyone looks good in stripes.

14. Radio tunes are an abomination, and the more i listen to the mass produced music on the airwaves today the more depressed, embarrassed and ashamed I become about the fact that this might be what I have to show my kids about what pop culture was like "back in my day".

15. The Doors are wide open.

16. You are never alone, you are with yourself.

17. North Shelley beach has an intimidating parking lot.

18. Goon will always have a soft spot in my heart. & it should have one in yours too unless you are allergic to fish or nuts, as all goon sacks have traces of these in them. delicious.

19. Quesadillas is not a dirty word. But you can make Fajitas sound like one.

20. I will never ask you to buy me a drink, but I will say yes if you offer.

21. Everyone is a genius in some way. EG: whoever can work out how twitter works and use it efficiently, or anyone who can remain sunbaking on the beach for hours on end, or guys that can take off a bra one handed. CLAP.

22. "Alf was eating pussy way before it was cool."

23. For such a fucking loud mouth (and im assuming short dicked man) John Mayer is, he really pens some pathetic lyrics nowadays. It only appealed to me when I was a pubescent teenager when my judgement could not be trusted. He is the peak on the mountain of douche lord that is running so rampant these days.

24. Paramore chicks voice was meant for around 2004 when we were all listening to Dashboard Confessional and Something Corporate and ignoring bands like Paramore but allowing them to exist peacefully along with the rest of the super tubed clad fringo gringos. Now paramore... you just sound like a wailing off cut from Erina Friday Nights back in 04, collaborating with some no name rapper to produce an award nominated "track" (that belongs on your myspace page) that is blasphemous to the history of ROCK AND ROLL that has passed us. FUCKING HELL. fuck you hey. and Usher, way to sell out man and chuck a techno warble behind your voice, you used to be cool man.

25. David Guetta is such a white boy.

26. Because of when, how and where I grew up, I will always have a distaste for Emo's. Dont blame me, blame my surroundings. Besides, have they all flown south for the summer?

27. If you recieve some mad attitude in the post once you move to Sydney from the Cennie, please return to sender before you begin your slow yet sure descent into wankerdom. I will not be there to pull the stick from your ass once you realise you are standing ankle deep in your own bullshit that has spouted from your own mouth.

26. Jared Leto- you are not a triple threat. you are a quadruple threat, because you sing, dance, act and have multiple personalities syndrome. You are the equivalent to a child being dragged about by her stage mum who claims that her daughter can do anything!!! P.s. you make me sick, forget you.

27. Doing mushrooms in Koh Phan Gang was one of the best experiences of my life, and to this day I still think the night sky looks like a suspicious black cat.


NOT LEARNED:

1. everything else.