IS THE LOOK ON A MAN'S FACE WHEN HE GETS SICK OF FUCKING THE SAME GIRL EVERY NIGHT?
I wish that look had something to do with Ron Burgundy, but I dont think it does.
However, the whole "used by date" theory is so interesting and makes me so curious that I want to put on a long white coat and toy with the idea all night in the St. Joeys science labs with Mrs. Scott.
Ive heard this theory being thrown around as a possible reason as to why things turn to shit so easily.
As in, why a boy will:
1. tune and tune and tune you until you give it up and put it down and then won't talk to you ever again, and if you talk to them they react as if you are the local crazy who has a cat in her mangled hair and as if you are wearing nothing but nipple covers and a pair of tights pulled up under your boobs.
2. Be really into the whole thing at the beginning then get to know who you really are and slowly but surely fuck off, or fuck around (either one)
3. Dump you via text/
/pigeon
/jet star employee
/ just not showing up at the airport when you reach your international destination
/by posting a picture of himself making out with another chick on FaceBook
/ posting a YouTube video miming to 'Fuck you right back' by EAMON.
4. Will tell you that "they still love you, but they are just not that in love with you anymore, thats why I fucked your sister. Im sorry babe."
5. Will fuck you in a hotel room and then write you a message detailing why you shouldnt tell anyone ten minutes later.
6. Will cheat on you with any girl that you do know, but the girl isnt quite close enough with you to tell you or their friends arent close enough with you to let you know.
7. Will tell you all about this girl that they are obsessed with, but "man you are just such a good listener MATE."
I think you get the point. Anyway, the REAL point is that this can cause the "used by date" theory to come into practice.
That being, everything is great and wonderful then just like a litre of Lite White, you as a person sour and get clumpy and will give your significant other extreme digestive issues if the relationship is to move forward.
Thereby, the heinous and inhumane workings of the used by date theory progress into how you must expel that dirty milk.
VOMIT THAT BITCH OUT OF YOUR BODY AND OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM!!!
Im just saying...
No one ever thinks what the off milk thought do they? It just lays on the ground, naked and shivering from being so violently projected back into the cold world.
No one cares about the off milk. They step over it and scream expletives at it as if it is the devil's money shot.
The used by date theory is one of extreme proportions that can make the off milk re think who they are, why this happens and if it is even worth putting themselves back in the bottle to be drunk once again.
It does makes for excellent stories once the intial "what the fuck this time." has worn off however.
I guess the real news is, girls get sick of fucking the same boys as well.
I hope Im not off milk, even though I have been made to feel like I am one too many times lately.
Oh well, I guess I just have to start liking boys who are lactose intolerant.
P.S. READ THIS : Soft Green Cream
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